I give what i expect: projection of support expectations and relationship quality over time in newlyweds

Official URL: https://risc01.sabanciuniv.edu/record=b3199893

Matching theories of social support suggest that supportive behaviors are only effective when they match the recipient’s expectations. To provide such skillful support, providers must first accurately infer the recipient’s expectations. However, individuals often exhibit egocentric biases, assuming similarities between themselves and others, which can affect their ability to accurately infer others’ expectations. In a sample of newlyweds (N = 471 spouses), we examined (a) whether people project their own support expectations onto their partner’s support expectations, providing support relying more on their own expectations rather than their partner’s, (b) whether people become better support providers over time, aligning their support more closely with their partner’s expectations, and (c) whether better-matched support improves relationship quality. Spouses reported their expectations and perceptions of 33 support behaviors from their partner, as well as relationship quality, in three waves over a six-month period. Results of multilevel logistic regression showed that support provision depended on both the provider’s and the recipient’s support expectations. Furthermore, multilevel models demonstrated that individuals gradually improved their ability to provide support aligned with their partner’s expectations while still relying on their own support expectations. When support matched the recipient’s expectations, it buffered the decline in relationship quality over time. These findings suggest that although support provision becomes more effective with time and can protect relationship quality, providers’ egocentric biases in support expectations persist and prove to be resistant, emphasizing the need for ongoing efforts to address these biases.