Is distanced mothering a neglectful or normative parenting strategy? Evidence from three countries

Official URL: https://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2023.101842

Distanced and intensive mothering constitute the opposite ends of parenting. Unlike intensive parenting, distanced parenting has attracted less attention from researchers, though it is not uncommon. Distanced parenting has been used interchangeably with disengaged parenting, which is treated as a mild form of parental neglect based on low warmth and control. Yet, it also may be used intentionally as a culturally fostered parenting strategy. The current study examines the commonsense conceptualization of distanced mothering, its acceptance among mothers, and their variability in three countries previously found as varying in intensive parenting. Mothers (N = 80) of school-age children in the Netherlands, Poland, and Turkey were first interviewed on how a distanced mother behaves in her relation with her child. Then mothers were asked to use a Likert-scale to evaluate, how good is distanced parenting. Results revealed that all mothers discussed distanced mothering as low in warmth (involvement, care, affect, rarely rejection) and high in parenting control (rule-oriented, punitive, and independence fostering parenting). Cross-national comparisons revealed that: (1) the Turkish and Polish mothers used more descriptors related to control and occasionally evaluated distanced mothering as neutral or positive; (2) only the Dutch mothers described distanced mothering in the context of rejection. Results discuss the interpretation of distanced mothering and its meaning for psychological practice and cross-cultural studies.